Marriage was mean to suck and be full of pain. WHAT??? no one thinks like this. No one gets married to get a divorce unless you a true gold digga but if you are just stop reading this blog and never come back 🙂
Marriage can be tough. Sometimes you feel like you may never get your way, I mean isn’t that why you got married in the first place? Really though, often we enter into marriage with a lot of the wrong expectations. Filled with the ideas of society and culture we embrace a romantic love story we’ve seen in a picture perfect movie where no one ever takes a dump or has to take out the trash and mow the lawn all the way to our fantasy sex expectations that no matter how much we feed still grows more hungry each day.
Yet in our world their are hidden examples of marriage that do live happily ever after, just not the kind in movies, you know the fake crap. Deep down we still long for this beautiful image of friendship, connection and companionship long into our years. Instead of telling you how to have an amazing marriage, I’m going to share through my personal experiences of how to have a horrific, destructive, downward spiraling and time bomb marriage.
1. Demand Your Way & Destroy The Connection
Inflexibility is sexy. Everyone wants a man or women who is nationalistically inflexible and intolerant, you know the Hitler or Jay-Z type of friend who feels invincible and even “god” like. Women in our free thinking and spirited society “get off” on the idea that their husband could be slightly verbally or physically abusive at any moment if she disagrees. This is what they long for…
OK LET’S CUT THE CRAP. No one wants this, this is a sure way to find divorce paperwork in your mailbox so why do we act this way? Well we articulate with words it’s because we want power, or the person is “stupid,” or we are more right then them and they “just don’t understand,” but really it’s because were afraid. AFRAID? What… Of what? We’re afraid that if we are not in control then we are not safe and if we are not safe then we are afraid. We don’t know how to find safety in letting someone else be right and deep deep down we are afraid of loosing that person and the only way we know how to love them is to believe we can control them. Twisted right. Well although twisted I believe it is powerful to know deep down we long to be and stay with that person. We use control but deep down we can re-wire our process to stay connected. That is the goal in the end stay connected.
2. Scream, Swear and Screw A Lot
From my experience people love being screamed at. When screaming doesn’t work start to drop in the occasional F-bomb, say Sh*t as much as you can and use vulgar words to get their attention. Doing this will win you massive brownie points, and we all know that the louder your are usually the more right you are. When we swear, it’s simply our passion showing itself in a healthy, positive and well articulated fashion. I mean anyone that says being calm and collective is how you get your way, obviously never got their way…
When all else fails be a d*ck or a bit*h and expect your partner to want to have passionate, movie style sex with you. I mean when your fighting usually that’s when you want to offer yourself as a sacrifice to your partner and oh have the highest expectations in your fantasy world because that’s what truly pleases your soul.
OKKKKK, BUT IT’S NOT WORKING… of course it’s not working and yet we continue to steep into destructive patterns because we haven’t been taught how to win in our marriage. We haven’t been conditioned to love from a pure place, because manipulation, force and anger always worked for us in the past. Marriage wasn’t meant to bring out the worst in you but often the worst in us must come out to see it and realize we need a change. The reality is that being calm is more important than being right, talking kind is more passionate than talking crass and aggressive and being gentle and loving will make your partner want to have crazy sex more than being demanding and ridiculous in your expectations.
So What’s the conclusion and how can I learn to change?
Marriage has not always been easy for me. I recently wrote a marriage journal with my wife in our worst season of marriage. With several kids, a full time job, house payment, businesses we run and the slew of responsibilities plaguing our lives we decided that it was more important that we had a project together then allowing our lives to slow and subtle drift apart. It’s a 30 days and 30 ways to his and her heart relationship journal and it has truly marked our connection and brought us together.
If your struggling in your relationship and want to become a better person you’ve got to pick up this journal. We are doing pre sales right now and I am only going to sell a limited number of copies of this journal so buy it today. Their is a her and a his version and it will help you talk through the issues, problem and purpose of your marriage while allowing each other to see the areas that need an upgrade.
Don’t mask your problems and pain in your marriage anymore through social filters that create a flawless image of what we wish we had. Create the reality your dream of by making an investment and buying this journal for your loved one and you to go through together for 30 days. Our struggles often look less messy in our social image and yet our pain persists. We hide it rather than expose it and in doing so we can never learn and grow past the pain and into the purpose of our marriages. Take the challenge with me today and pickup the marriage journal bundles by clicking here
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